My cat of 15 years, Smokey, passed away overnight. His passing was made all the more difficult coming on the heels of our other cat of 10 years, Bashful, passing away two weeks ago.
Towards the end Smokey was an old, sickly cat. I’m happy he’s no longer suffering. However, I’m saddened by his passing. And I’m sad my wife, Devon, never knew Smokey when he was young.
All Devon knew was the old, sickly version of Smokey with a flea allergy.
He wasn’t always that way, though. He was once a fluffy cat I liked to say was “50% fur, 50% awesome.”
In his memory, here is a work of humorous fiction I wrote about him way back on February 1, 2007, at my old humor blog.
My friends, Steve and Renee, wrote the following on January 30, 2007, on their blog: “A precious family member, Teddy [editor’s note: a teddy bear], disappeared at the end of last week. We have turned the house upside down searching for her…she was found inexplicably under her “kitchen” set, a fairly small unit in (Jill, our daughter’s) room. I am amazed at this, because I actually moved that thing out of the way and back into its spot to look at the precise location where she was found today. I told Jill that an angel must have put her there, because I honestly have no other explanation for it.”
I have a theory.
I believe an angel, of sorts, did indeed bring Teddy back into the fold. The one and only Smokey escaped from my parent’s home the day before Teddy was found.
Here is how I believe it went down:
Smokey heard of the family’s plight when Renee called [name omitted] Monday morning to talk about Teddy.
Pretending he was asleep on the nearby kitchen table, Smokey heard every word of the conversation. A caring and sympathetic soul, Smokey decided to take action. He waited for my mom to open the back door. Even though my mom is always on guard to prevent Smokey from escaping, he flew past her as soon as she cracked open the door.
It was like taking candy from a baby.
Once outside, Smokey ran to the nearby CVS Pharmacy. In the parking lot, he searched for a truck with a Perry High School sticker in the window. Knowing Steve and Renee live in Perry, Smokey surmised that anyone with such a sticker on their vehicle probably lived in Perry and would, eventually, drive there.
Once he found his mark, Smokey hopped into the back of the truck. Two hours and one detour to Macon later, Smokey arrived in Perry.
Once in Perry, Smokey hit the streets. He talked to all of his usual informants. Each of them kept coming back with the same name, Timmy Jefferson.
Timmy, age 5, had a reputation as a Teddy Bear thief. On the playgrounds, in the parks, at McDonald’s; he was always looking for a Teddy he could swipe.
Smokey decided to pay him a little visit.
Perched outside Timmy’s bedroom window, Smokey saw an army of Teddy Bears. The kid had obviously been at this for a while. On the floor, he saw Timmy playing with a black Teddy Bear in a pink dress. In the far corner, he saw Teddy.
“Showtime,” Smokey thought to himself.
He began to claw on the window and meow sweetly in order to get Timmy’s attention. “Kitty,” Timmy squealed after looking up and seeing Smokey in his window. Timmy walked over and opened his window to let Smokey inside.
Smokey greeted him with a roundhouse kick to the head, Chuck Norris style.
After dialing 911 so the authorities could come and break up Timmy’s Teddy Bear ring, Smokey grabbed Teddy and hopped out the window. It was time to bring Teddy back to her rightful owners.
Amidst the chaos of trying to find Teddy, Smokey was able to sneak inside Steve and Renee’s home and gently set her under the kitchen set in Jill’s bedroom. His work done, it was time for Smokey to go home.
Of course, if you asked him about it, Smokey would probably act as though he didn’t know what you were talking about.
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